I find myself sitting here crying. A nightly routine before I can fall asleep. It’s my birthday today, but it feels like the worst day of my life. I wish I could smile, even pretend to, but what’s the point when I’m the only one here. I guess seeing you tomorrow is enough, even if it is just for awhile. Just the thought of seeing you for the last time kills me, but it’s better this way. I can’t talk to you everyday and pretend like nothing happened. We rushed into things too soon, it was too perfect, making it all imperfect.

Time to start over. If I managed to live till my 20th birthday without most of the way, then there is no doubt that I won’t for the rest of the way. Good bye, even though i’ll always love you just the same. You can’t be in love with your best friend….